Construction

Dear Zander, Kaden & Addison,

We have started the remodel of our house in order to have more room.  We are trying to create a home environment where you will want to hang out with your friends as you get older.  We are adding an extra bedroom and baths so that each of you can have your own bedroom when you are ready for it.  I also wanted your bedrooms close to each other sharing a common hallway so that you would be able to quickly find each other in the middle of the night if needed.  When I was little Uncle Bert and I had rooms all the way across the house from each other.  They were very nice rooms.  Gram and Bo had given up the master bedroom and taken the smaller room so that Bert and I would have nice big bedrooms with our own baths.  Once we moved to Gram's dream house down the street we still had nice big bedrooms with baths but they were at the top of the stairs right across from each other.  Once we made this move then Bert and I really became friends.  We hung out together just the two of us after Mom and Dad went to sleep.  To me the location of our rooms made a big impact on our relationship.  So when we designed the house for the remodel I really wanted your rooms close together for this reason.  Since I was 39 years old when you were born I wanted to do all that I could to make sure that you have a close relationship ... so that you can be there for each other when you are older just in case I am not.  Please note that I plan to live to be 140 years old ... at least that is what Kaden and Zander have decided.  They will live to be 100 and Mommy will live to 140 then we will all go to heaven together to see Gram.  Sounds like a good plan to me!

The remodel has me really missing Gram.  I used to talk to Gram about everything.  Before she died we looked at every room in the new plan and discussed how to decorate it, how it would be used, how we could change it as you grew older ... on and on and on.  Of course, Daddy and I talk about all of this too but Gram brought a different perspective to the conversation.  Tomorrow the cement trucks will arrive and they are supposed to be huge.  It will be quite the event ... one that Gram would have loved.  She would have been here watching it with you and talking all about it for days and weeks to come.

It is after midnight.  Addison woke me (again) after a nightmare though I think you just needed to go potty then decided to head into Mommy's warm bed.  I do not blame you as apparently I did the same thing to Gram.  Once you wake me though I typically cannot fall back to sleep so I decided to get up and write you this letter.  I think about writing to you all the time but it seems that life or sleep take the priority though I hope to get better at writing.  I am not sure if you will ever want to read these letters but I thought you might someday.  You are such a joy and you are at a wonderful age ... though I must admit you have not had a bad age yet.  I am going to try to get some sleep now so that I can experience all the cement truck action through your eyes.

I love you to the moon and back and all around the universe!  Love, Love, Love, Mommy

Magic Tree House

Tonight I am up very late.  I can't sleep even though I have a mild case of pneumonia (go figure).  I started making Magic Tree House passports for each of you.  You seem to really enjoy the series of books so far and I am hoping that you will like the passports.  As I am up late it reminds me of all the things my Mom did for me.  Staying up in the middle of the night to complete a project or costume so I would have it the next day.  The countless hours she must have spent that I never knew anything about.  I think Gram would have really enjoyed the magic tree house series.  I don't know if she had ever read them to Sean ... I will have to ask Aunt Liz.  I just went in to see you sleeping.  Zander completely surrounded by dinosaurs, Kaden with your iPod close by and Addison spread eagle without a care in the world!  Now, its my turn to try to sleep!

I miss Gram!

Dear Zander, Kaden & Addison,

It's been three months since Gram died and I still cannot believe that she is gone.  I ache knowing that your memory of her will be limited or possibly non-existent.  She loved you so much.  And I don't mean just any kind of love I mean the kind of love that is almost impossible to express.  She spent just about every hour of every day trying to figure out what to teach you next.  She taught you your colors, numbers and shapes before you were even able to speak.  Even when she was in pain she would sit with you, read to you, color with you ... it was always about you.  She did it in such a way as to not step on my toes as your Mom but to add extra attention and magical moments to your day.  I am still trying to figure out the best way to tell you about your grandmother.  I am hoping that writing will help.  I had always planned to start writing these letters but you were quite a bit of work when you were younger, then Gram got sick and Mom got tired ... so here I am following your 5th birthday trying to write.  It's a sleepless night for Mommy.  I have the virus that all three of you have gotten over so I can't sleep plus I really, really miss my Mom, your Gram.

Love, Love, Love,
Mom